It is unfortunately very common for children to face threats, getting hit, and yelled at on a daily basis in some of the Kurdish households and even schools; usually, parents or others justify their actions by stating that it will “discipline their children”.
It is logically argued that such a method proves highly fallacious and can have long-term consequences. However, even saying no in some ways is negligent and unacceptable for young children. In an astonishing study, experts showed that children hear the word “No” 400 times a day. But why is that significant? How can we say no to a child without incorporating the word “NO” in the sentence? And what are supposed to do instead?
Some ways that No can hurt children:
- Saying no troubles children and deters them from endeavouring to do something good, or in other means, better than their last try
- It can result in poorer language skills
- Some start to ignore the word, and won’t listen to your words anymore
- Possible repetition of the same wrong act merely because they did not learn what was done wrong.
- They will potentially develop saying the same segment
- Saying no also turns down their ambitions, motivations, and most importantly, possible future attempts to attain something that might be significant and beneficial
How to change the No:
- Rephrase your statement in a way that has a more positive connotation than negative and watch your diction.
- Explain why his/her action is wrong
- Achieve the right blend of yes and no
- Teach stop sounds and signs
- Master the correct tone and “the look”. Depending on the situation, it should be soothing, serious, or funny.
- Don’t retreat on your words and promises once they come out of your mouth
- Provide choices and leave space for the child to contribute to decision-making. For example, instead of saying, “
you can’t play on the phone now. Play with your friend” say, “you can play video games or play with your friend now — your choice. But when making up your mind, keep in mind that video games are always available but your friend is only available now.”
This doesn’t come in the meaning that everything should be allowed to children. On the contrary, they must have limits and they must recognize them. In fact, the aforementioned methods can aid them stay disciplined without developing a violent personality.